Faxes, teleconferences, the World Wide Web, and other technological advancements guarantee that we can communicate with virtually anyone, anywhere. However, it's up to us to ensure that the messages we send are clearly understood by the recipient.
Whether it's a face-to-face meeting or an overseas transmission, communication is a complex process that requires constant attention so that intended messages are sent and received. Inadequate communication is the source of conflict and misunderstanding. It interferes with productivity and profitability. Virtually everyone in business has experienced times when they were frustrated because they just couldn't "get through" to someone. They felt as if they were speaking an unknown language or were on a different "wave length." Communicating effectively is much more than just saying or writing the correct words. How we communicate is affected by frame of reference, emotional states, the situation, and preferred styles of communication.
Our perceptions are directly related to the senses -- visual, auditory, or kinesthetic/tactile (movement, touch, taste, and smell). Although everyone uses all three styles or modes to interact with the world, most people have a primary one. Research indicates that most people are visually-oriented, whereas the fewest number of people are auditorially-oriented. To ensure that messages are conveyed, it's important to learn how to communicate in another's particular style. To discover someone's primary mode: (1) Listen to the verbs they use; (2) Watch their eye movements during a discussion; (3) Observe their behavior; (4) Ask how they prefer to receive new information; and (5) Be aware of your own preferences. Let's consider each mode.
The Visual Mode. Visually-oriented people interact with the world by creating mental pictures. They'll often make statements such as "I don't see it that way" or "It looks good to me." When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go up to create a picture. They also may blink to "clear the screen" in their mind's eye, or they may look directly at you in response to your questions. They will use verbs such as look, see, picture, and imagine. When presenting new information to them, use colorful pictures, charts, or displays.
The Auditory Mode. "I hear what you're saying" or "It doesn't sound that way to me" are typical statements made by those whose primary way of interacting with the world is auditory. They like to discuss and listen to recorded information and music. When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go over to the side, often repeating out loud or in their mind's ear the question or statement made. They will use verbs such as hear, listen, debate, and talk. When presenting new information to them, take the time to discuss it and answer all of their questions.
The Kinesthetic/Tactile Mode. Many people are doers and are quite demonstrative, preferring movement in their interactions. They often make statements such as "I feel this is the best solution" or "I just can't grasp the idea." When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go down to get in touch with emotions and the motion involved in the statement or question. They will use action-oriented verbs such as feel, touch, run, hold, and move. When presenting new information, use hands-on activities, such as actually going through the motions of a new procedure.
In these times of doing more with less and increased use of technology, it's imperative to remember to do whatever we can to foster effective communication. By looking at the world from another's point of view, your employees, co-workers, customers, and vendors will feel that you're really listening to them. Listening and responding in a way that makes sense to them will improve relationships, enhance performance, increase productivity, and positively impact the bottom line.
A Practical Guide for Taking Gentle Control of Life
Living InSync is a way of life, a way of living, a lifelong process that
exemplifies the mind-body-spirit interconnectedness in life. The essence of
being InSync is found in the five dimensions of life--physical, emotional,
mental, social and spiritual.Living InSyncŪ means assessing and optimizing
your personal power, understanding yourself and others, envisioning what
you want from life, making conscious choices and pursuing goals to be the
person you want to be. By assessing your personal power, you become
creative, decisive and productive and can take gentle control of your life.
Living InSyncŪ offers a personalized, proactive, step-by-step approach to
help you assess where you are in life, who you want to be, and where you
want to go. Maintaining a balance between and within the dimensions offers
you a perpetual challenge because the evolving nature of your being is
dynamic and ever-changing. By responding to life's challenges in new ways
and by recognizing that perfection is a static, nonexistent state, you'll
experience insights about yourself and the unlimited opportunities for
success and peace. You'll find that when you live InSync with yourself,
you're more InSync with others and the Spirit.
Dr. Susan Pilgrim, author of Living InSyncŪ -- Creating Your Life with
Balance and Purpose (Health Communications Inc.) and Moving InSyncŪ with the Spirit (in
press), and president of Life Investments, is an Atlanta-based international speaker, business
consultant, and coach. She specializes in engaging the spirit of individuals, teams, and
organizations. Her work represents a unique blend of experience and education in the areas of business management, education, and psychology.
She customizes programs to meet the needs of
the client and designs them to increase personal, professional, and organizational productivity.
Susan's committed to positively influencing the lives of those in her audiences. She encourages all
who experience her work to invest in themselves so they can get what they want in life. She earned
her B.S. at Presbyterian College, her M.Ed. at the University of South Carolina, and her Ph.D. at
Georgia State University. Her memberships include the National Speakers Association, American
Society for Training and Development, and the Georgia Society of Association Executives. Her
columns appear in a number of business, health,
and personal development publications.
Susan Pilgrim, PhD
877.467.9627
209.825.9459/fax
spilgrim@transbay.net